Dear Mr President Bush

We heard you were eager for more oil, and we would like to invite you here in Europe, in a nice little sunny country called Spain more precisely. We have plenty of oil there in a tanker not too deep in the sea. You just have to bring your diving equipment and with a hardly a little bit of work, this oil will be yours. Yes, you can take it home to the USA. It's a gift.

Further we are glad to offer you a permanent job – we suggest that you consider our offer with care because jobs are hard to find these days, and we found out that the one you currently have is just temporary. We understood that your dream was to become the chief policeman of the entire world, but that some nasty people – entire countries even – seemed to oppose to your innocent projects. We suggest that you drop this dream, as attempts for making it real would potentially place you in an hazardous situation due to extremely rough competition. The position we offer is much much safer. We would like you to become the chief policeman of all european seas because we have an urgent need and nobody appears to stand up and take the job. We will provide you with a nice little fleet of fast patrol boats with guns – we know you are fond of guns – electronic equipment and all.

Not only you will get good money for this job, but all the oil you will find in illegallly floating wrecks around - before or after they have sunk – will be yours. Considering the numbers of unsafe tankers that sail on european seas, not only you will get huge quantities of the oil you love so dear, but we believe you will quickly become enormously rich.

The European Community